lancesalot | (no subject)

(no subject)

Despite finding his resolve, Dimitri still finds himself wide awake and restless. There's a million and one things racing around his head in an endless circuit, and the sheets feel strange against him. He's admittedly still uncomfortable sleeping without the armor on. He'd gotten so used to it, normal clothes make him feel naked. Vulnerable. The touch of the cool stone floor under his bare feet is a relief, a promise that he won't just simply lay here and let his thoughts sweep him out to see.

He lights the candle and hooks his finger into the holder, slipping out into the drafty halls of the monastery.

Originally, wandering without intent, but he doesn't surprise himself when he finds himself standing outside Byleth's door. He doesn't knock. He wants to, but the professor has enough to worry about, and Dimitri has already burdened him with so much of his own turmoil.

But maybe he's also awake? He was a night owl, as he remembers. No- he's probably exhausted. Even if he is awake, there's no need to trouble him with this pointless visit. What is he even here for anyways? He has nothing useful to say, nothing that he hasn't already anyways. The simple fact is that seeing Byleth's face, hearing his voice, just being around him, is soothing.

So Dimitri stands at his door for the next ten minutes or so, wrestling with himself. Silently.

Right. No, he should leave. He's not a child. He's startled when a drip of hot wax hits his hand, spilled from the holder that he was absentmindedly tilting. It doesn't hurt terribly, but it does jar him enough to drop it with a loud TINK!. Scrambling to pick it up, and now balking at the thought of waking the professor like this, as if he just now realized how weird it was to be standing outside someones door for ten minutes, silently.

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Upon seeing Dimitri, his eyes brighten up and he waves back, a small smile forming on his face. He goes to fetch his breakfast for the morning before he goes to join Dimitri at a table. Usually, Byleth is seen eating with two people, but right now obviously he chooses to join him more privately.

"Sylvain didn't give you too hard of a time, did he?"

"Ah. Not... more than usual." That is to say, yes. Yes a lot. He's not sure if the feeling of eyes on them is just his own worries. Still, Byleth's presence soothes him, and he finds the meal tastes much better than usual. Since when did he feel so hungry? Everything has a rosy hue, despite his best efforts to focus on the things he needs to do, when Byleth is here in front of him, bringing him his favorite food, which he somehow remembered after all these years...

He feels like he's still riding on the euphoria. Naturally that mean's he's been silently, intensely looking at the professor as they eat. He catches himself though and clears his throat.

"I am afraid though, that people may talk. I hope it does not cause you any trouble. I hope that-" Well. That's a conversation perhaps better had in private. What does he hope for? A relationship? He'd been so lost in his feelings he didn't stop to consider where this would go...

"That doesn't really bother me. If anything, I'm more concerned about you. You've been through so much already." Not to mention that Dimitri will eventually be crowned king when this war is over. Does he really need all that attention?

"...Though I wouldn't mind talking about this with you when it's just us. If that's okay."

"Hm. I have been through the flames of hell and back, a few rumors and a bit of teasing is hardly going to set me back." Dimitri assures him.

"Yes, I agree. Perhaps... after today's war meeting, we can steal away and find somewhere private to discuss what we will do with-" A vague gesture, "This."

That's true. And he suspects that despite all of Sylvain's teasing, he does also care immensely, even if he's reluctant to show that sincere part of himself.

A tiny smile plays on Byleth's lips and he nods. "I'd like that." If only to weed out the uncertainty. Even if Dimitri decides to abruptly back out, he couldn't blame him, even if...

Oh. The idea. It actually makes him feel strangely horrible. His chest heavy, aching. That-- that must be heartbreak. He truly hopes it doesn't come to that.

Even the smallest change on Byleth's face does not go unnoticed. Dimitri had gotten quite used to detecting the almost nonexistent shifts of expression that give away his moods. His hand briefly moves to catch the professor's and give a short, comforting squeeze before returning to finish his meal.

"Perhaps my room would be acceptable? Or... somewhere outside the monastery even."

The touch to his own hand is quietly appreciated, even if it was just brief.

"Outside of the monastery might be too dangerous," he murmurs reluctantly, even if that would give them a sense of privacy that even the monastery can't offer them. But he doesn't want to risk any possible encounters with any lingering Empire scouts.

"Your room is fine. I'll come up a little later than you so I don't draw attention."

The way they're talking makes it sound like some kind of dire stealth mission. He can't help but chuckle.

"All right. I'll see you then. Thank you again for breakfast."

The war meeting proves difficult to get through, though he has the sense to focus on what needs to be done, what is important, in the idle in-between moments, he allows his eyes to drift toward the professor next to him. He feels like a damned school boy again, excited to meet in secret to- to what, hold hands? Kiss? They need to discuss what this means to both of them. The excitement in his belly roils with anxiety as well. He has never feared rejection so much.

When the meeting finally ends, he beelines it for his quarters. Even though Byleth won't be there for a while yet. Sitting, waiting, bouncing his knee so much it rattles his whole desk. Damn it. He stands, trying to busy himself, tidy his quarters, adjust his papers several times before giving up and pacing like a caged animal.

Though Byleth has always wanted to just get through the war councils, never before has he felt so anxious for it, wanting to catch those warm moments with Dimitri again. Though it is very well possible that it might be nothing more than last night, but he hopes it will continue. That maybe, it could grow and...

In any case, he slips through the halls, careful as he goes up the stairs to the second floor dormitory. He doesn't think anyone has noticed, but then it's hard to say; he isn't as sneaky as some of the others.

But more importantly, he arrives at Dimitri's door, giving a light knock.

As soon as Byleth's fist knocks once, the door opens, as if Dimitri was standing directly by it waiting for him. Which he was.

"Professor- Byleth- please. Come in." He says stiffly. As soon as the door is closed though, Byleth is pushed against it and Dimitri's lips are on his again, a little more hungrily than the last times. Having to sit all day and do nothing had been frustrating. Pressing himself against him again like this...

He finally breaks away, getting a hold on himself. Right they... need to talk.

"Sorry. I uh- I apologize."

The clearly eagerness from Dimitri quickly squashes away any fears that Byleth might have, but it also startles him how immensely affectionate the prince is with him. Byleth's brows are raised, surprised, but he's enthralled as well. Instinctively, his hands go to Dimitri's hips, even as their lips part.

A bit flushed, but hardly regretful, Byleth says, "I think that was a perfectly fine greeting. But we should... talk, too. All right?"

"Hmmm, yes." He moves aside, allowing Byleth to seat himself wherever he pleases. Dimitri sits himself on the edge of his bed.

"I uh. I just want to begin by saying that I do not regret last night." He makes it sound like they fucked, but all they did was cuddle and kiss. "I know right now is not the ideal time to begin a romance, and our involvement with each other will likely complicate things for the both of us." He clenches his fist.

"Regardless, I cannot deny my feelings for you. Ultimately, I will leave the choice up to you."

A chair is pulled over to be near Dimitri, not wanting to be too far from the other man. He listens, watching attentively, then glances down before he holds out his hand to Dimitri.

"It's... okay. I feel the same way, but I wasn't going to blame you if you had changed your mind," Byleth says softly. "I know there's a lot happening, and you've been through so much. I would have understood."

Notably, his expression brightens. "Still, here we are. I don't know how long I've felt this way. Maybe when you first made me smile. Either way, I want to be with you and not lose that chance."

"Ah. I admit- that is such a relief to hear. I would have respected your decision either way but... well. I definitely would have been heartbroken. Your smile is so precious to me, I want to see it every chance I get." His gloved thumb passes over Byleth's knuckles affectionately.

He pauses, his face taking on a slightly bewildered expression.

"May we please kiss more now?"

With their hands joined, it feels so much warmer, his own smile wider than it'd ever been. He can't remember ever feeling like this, wanting nothing more than to be with someone and never let go, longing.

Byleth moves from the chair to sit next to Dimitri on the bed, leaning in and letting their foreheads bump.

"Yes. Please."

Gladly Dimitri leans in, given permission now, and locks their lips again, holding Byleth by the chin. This, more tender and exploratory than the needy, insistent kiss just a few minutes ago. Still, there's a sense of urgency in it. Of making up for lost time. He finds himself pushing Byleth down to the bed as they deepen it, his heart jumping at the feeling of their tongues passing against each other.

"Byleth," he breathes as they break for a moment, "I have desired this for so long, I must be honest. My heart, and body long for yours. Even if I were to become a king, I will always take the knee to you. I desire to serve you." The worn leather of his glove strokes along the professor's neck before he leans in again for another long kiss.

There's been nothing like this before. The heat right now, it feels like so much and yet not enough, something he desperately wants to share with Dimitri. At long last, Dimitri is alive again... and so is Byleth, after spending his life so empty.

He rakes his fingers through Dimitri's hair, enjoying how long it is now. It's brushed back as they kiss, tongues tasting eagerly. This is his, something he's never had before. No, Byleth has never been in love before, not until now with the prince.

"Dimitri," he murmurs the other man's name against his lips before pressing back into the kiss. Even if this is all that they do, he would not beg for more.

It doesn't take long though for the kissing and touching to have Dimitri's heart ready to leap out of his chest. His face flushed, he looks like he's just run a marathon. It's his name said like that, so kindly, that eggs him on. He pushes Byleth's hair aside and his mouth descends on to the edge of his ear, kissing his way down it and onto his neck.

His hands move up to stroke across the professor's chest, one moving down to squeeze his hip. It's now that he realizes how badly he's shaking. Is he truly this flustered? True, he's never been with someone quite like this before. His body knows what to do, and certainly what he wants. Again, Byleth has him feeling like a damned school boy.

"Tell me. What do you want me to do..."

A hand reaches for Dimitri's face, his palm pressing against his warm cheek. It can't be helped: he smiles at him, pale skin flushed and thrilled just as Dimitri is. How strange when he'd had physical relations before, he never felt nervous or flustered. This is... so new to him.

"How much do you want?" he asks softly, knowing that's more important than anything else. How far does Dimitri wish to go in this moment?

"All of you-" Dimitri blurts before he can stop himself. "That is- I realize perhaps we are moving quickly, but I wish to please you. I have never wanted- not like this before. I realize that this kind of thing is not proper, but I am no longer proper." He lets a chuckle slip, albeit an uncertain one.

"Just- please." He sounds a little desperate, the faint waver in his voice, "Tell me how to make you feel good."

Hands cup Dimitri's face, and Byleth smiles up at him once again, flushed thoroughly at the prospect. He's done this a few times with a couple of the other mercenaries, men and women alike. But he's never felt particularly excited about sex until this very moment, with Dimitri.

"It's okay. I want this too."

He leans up, pressing his lips to Dimitri's forehead. "Help me undress first?"

Dimitri shivers pleasantly. The thought of getting to unwrap Byleth like the gift he is, is delicious beyond reason. He nods, wordlessly unbuttoning and undoing the clasps that made up the professors outfit. Exposing his chest makes his own heart pound, and he presses a few light kisses against his collar bone and down along the line where his coat opened.

Every new inch of skin shown is peppered with adoring affection. It's about the time that Dimitri is kissing his way down from Byleth's naval that he pauses again, hesitantly undoing his belt and tugging his pants down gently, his mouth falling into the cup of the professor's hips. Now he can feel how heavy his own breathing is. He hasn't even undressed himself, but that's hardly a concern right now. Maybe... the professor would do the same for him. He rises again, once Byleth is stripped down to his undergarments, allowing his knee to fall between his legs.

He may not have experience, but he's no prude.

Never before has Byleth felt so treasured in such a way, being delicately unraveled like something to be slowly and gradually enjoyed, to savor. Though it is clear that Dimitri is immeasurably excited, he doesn't just rip away Byleth's clothes to ravish him; he's kissing Byleth, adoring him as he goes, and it does little to make Byleth feel less flustered. Yet, he doesn't feel embarrassed. Instead, he relishes in this new feeling, able to express it freely and basking in the emotions running through him.

He breathes in sharply, feeling Dimitri's leg pressing up against him. It isn't a shock to discover he's half-hard already, thrilled to share this with someone he cares so deeply for. Byleth sits up slightly, nuzzling along Dimitri's temple.

"Good," he assures softly, wanting him to feel confident. "Let me undress you?" Byleth could never assume, and it is asked as he waits for permission.

He was hoping that would be the case. He nods, taking a moment to thumb open a few of the less obvious clasps of his armor. The last thing he wanted was for Byleth to have to solve a puzzle for his reward right in the heat of things. He stands then, offering himself up to the professor's hands.

Trusting.

"The strap in the back is the main anchor." He doesn't feel the need to warn him that the suit of armor is heavy. That much is obvious, and Byleth is one of the only people he knows who hits just about as hard as he does.

Sitting up more properly, Byleth reaches behind Dimitri to unwork the strap. The armor's weight isn't surprising, and he's able to gently slide it aside to the floor, letting it lean against the bed. It's almost a shame to push away the cape, liking how warm it's always looked. From there, it's a simple task to undress the top of Dimitri.

It comes as no surprise, but it's still an unfortunate thing to see: Dimitri's many scars. The past five years... so much of it Byleth still doesn't know, but he would not think to demand of Dimitri. So, he brushes his lips over his prominent chest, lightly kissing in return, wanting to try to express the same kind of love that Dimitri had given him just a moment ago. His hands remain busy, idly unbuckling belts.

"You're beautiful," he murmurs against skin.